Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Something Something... Whatever...

At times, there is this inexplicable feeling that you have to do something
the unrest, the drive that you need to do something, anything!

Is the unrest because you want to preoccupy your mind in something that you wanna do something or is it the other way round, that your mind is preoccupied with the thought of doing something.

You want to do something, to feel something and hence, want to do something towards that direction.
I am suffering  from precisely this very 'something' right now.

Though this is the Diwali season, i am not feeling a wee bit of diwali festivities. I have forgotten even the count of years when i last blew crackers; we don't decorate our home much (and I being a boy doesn't help my parents in that either!).
This year, we are also not going anywhere to distribute gifts so its pretty much not the kind of diwali we used to have, and its not like we have lavish ones even when we do... but something is still strange about this time.

There is such a gentle breeze these days, and the sun-kissed hazy mornings. Such a pleasant weather goads me to go out, enjoy the sun, be with friends and friendships.

What these gentle breezes and festivities are doing is that they are providing a conducive environment to take a step back and put on a thinking cap on my knees :D

When you realize that you cant have something, but you need it badly, you start romancing with the idea of not having it and yet having it in order to improvise and tell the mind that you are better off not having it!

It is this romancing that adds a spark!
Romancing with this uncertainty, this pleasure in pain,
this yearning and dislike for the very same thing, is something conflicting in essence, complimenting otherwise and gratifying in the weirdest possible way.

 lets see how long it lasts..
And who knows, i might end up getting it... ;)