Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Things People do for their Computer, Ah...the problems they face...!!!

True telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the U.K

=========================================================  ; )

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have ?

Customer: A white one...


Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button ?

Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.

Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..

Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .


Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left ?


Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you ?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me ! I'm not Bill Gates damn it !


Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...


Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer ?

Customer: No.


Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am ? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.


Helpdesk: And now hit F8.

Customer: It's not working.

Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly ?

Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening.


Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer ?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you ?

Customer: Yes

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard ?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work !


Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?


A customer couldn't get on the internet.

Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ?

Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was ?

Customer: Five stars.


Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use ?

Customer: Netscape.

Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !


Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you ?

Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?

Helpdesk: Uhh.? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?

Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?


Helpdesk: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?
hasta la vista

                         - In mail from a friend !!!

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Yeh Engineer kaun hota hai papa ???!?!?!?!?!

Engineer woh hai jo aksar phasta hai
interviews ke sawaal mae
badi companiyon ki chaal mae
boss aur client ke bawaal mae

Engineer woh hai jo pak gaya hai
meetings ki jhelai mae
submissions ki gehrai mae
teamwork ki chatai mae

Engineer woh hai jo laga rahta hai
schedule ko failane mae
targets ko khiskaane mae
roz naye-naye bahane mae

Engineer woh hai jo khoya hai
reminders ke jawaab mae
na milne wale hisaab mae
behtar bhavishya ke khwaab mae

Engineer woh hai jise intezaar hai
weekend night manane ka
boss ke chhutti jaane ka
increment ki khabar aane ka

Engineer woh hai jo
lunch time mae breakfast karta hai
dinner time mae lunch karta hai
commutation ke waqt soya karta hai

Engineer woh hai jo pagal hai
chai aur samose ke pyar mae
cigeratte ke khumar mae
birdwatching ke vichar mae

Engineer woh hai jo sochta hai
kaash padhai pe dhyaan diya hota
kaash teacher se panga na liya hota
kaash ishq na kiya hota..............

- In mail From a friend :P