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Friday, April 11, 2014

Directionless

So how does being directionless feels?
It's as if you are standing in the middle of nowhere and winds from all sides come
Brazing u! spinning round and round so that any direction u seem to grasp, if at all, is taken away.

Sitting here, I feel like familiar to all this. Lovers holding hands, friends pulling each other's leg, families strolling around - it all feels so familiar to the downtown. Is it the sights. Or is it the sounds in the air. 
I see happy faces, pretty faces, careless faces, decked up faces, lost faces…
To sit in silence while everyone else around you bustles is like singing a song to oneself. Free the lyrics, free the rhythm, delirious the singer, amusing the tone.

Sitting amidst the lush grey concrete jungle, is this place, where people loosen up just a little of their suited ties. Where people remember and yet forget.
I see wait-ers, I see loners, I see likers and may be some haters, basically just onlookers.
I see various people - each with their own uniqueness, each with their own story, each on their own - to take on there world, or be with it!

What does it feel to be directionless?
Is it to look outside and find urself or is it not to find, but search for oneself in the innumerable places u have been, the thousands u have seen, the hundreds with whom your eyes meet, the tens with whom u talk, and the one u touch!

How does one know when he is directionless ?
Is it to loose your sense of direction, or is it to loose your will to find one.

I guess it is to not know what u r doing and still having to move forward.

I think it is the urge to find oneself that has the most intense of directionless-ness.

Whenever u r transforming, u sense this utter loss of direction, the loss of control and the uncertainty and anxiety of what it's gonna become.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

A musing thought

I used to write several smileys in chats.
Then somebody said i shouldn't.
And eventually, i realized, that i don't.

.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

all that heart wants

The heart doesn't want lavish things,
it only needs little things to be happy.

A glance of the eye,
A smile of the face,
A voice calling out the name
A touch of hesitation...

Quintessential by its appearance,
delusional by its very nature...
- Hope.

All it needs is an assurance of knowing,
A gesture of unease,
A hint of acknowledgement,
and a display of zeal.

All it needs is an unexpected wait,
And an insatiable 'bye...'


.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Rules of love

1. We don't pick who we fall in love with
2. And it never happens like it should

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Something Something... Whatever...

At times, there is this inexplicable feeling that you have to do something
the unrest, the drive that you need to do something, anything!

Is the unrest because you want to preoccupy your mind in something that you wanna do something or is it the other way round, that your mind is preoccupied with the thought of doing something.

You want to do something, to feel something and hence, want to do something towards that direction.
I am suffering  from precisely this very 'something' right now.

Though this is the Diwali season, i am not feeling a wee bit of diwali festivities. I have forgotten even the count of years when i last blew crackers; we don't decorate our home much (and I being a boy doesn't help my parents in that either!).
This year, we are also not going anywhere to distribute gifts so its pretty much not the kind of diwali we used to have, and its not like we have lavish ones even when we do... but something is still strange about this time.

There is such a gentle breeze these days, and the sun-kissed hazy mornings. Such a pleasant weather goads me to go out, enjoy the sun, be with friends and friendships.

What these gentle breezes and festivities are doing is that they are providing a conducive environment to take a step back and put on a thinking cap on my knees :D

When you realize that you cant have something, but you need it badly, you start romancing with the idea of not having it and yet having it in order to improvise and tell the mind that you are better off not having it!

It is this romancing that adds a spark!
Romancing with this uncertainty, this pleasure in pain,
this yearning and dislike for the very same thing, is something conflicting in essence, complimenting otherwise and gratifying in the weirdest possible way.

 lets see how long it lasts..
And who knows, i might end up getting it... ;)