A musing thought

I used to write several smileys in chats.
Then somebody said i shouldn't.
And eventually, i realized, that i don't.
.

all that heart wants

The heart doesn't want lavish things,
it only needs little things to be happy.

A glance of the eye,
A smile of the face,
A voice calling out the name
A touch of hesitation...

Quintessential by its appearance,
delusional by its very nature...
- Hope.

All it needs is an assurance of knowing,
A gesture of unease,
A hint of acknowledgement,
and a display of zeal.

All it needs is an unexpected wait,
And an insatiable 'bye...'

.

Rules of love

1. We don't pick who we fall in love with
2. And it never happens like it should

Something Something... Whatever...

At times, there is this inexplicable feeling that you have to do something

the unrest, the drive that you need to do something, anything!

Is the unrest because you want to preoccupy your mind in something that you wanna do something or is it the other way round, that your mind is preoccupied with the thought of doing something.

You want to do something, to feel something and hence, want to do something towards that direction.

I am suffering  from precisely this very 'something' right now.

Though this is the Diwali season, i am not feeling a wee bit of diwali festivities. I have forgotten even the count of years when i last blew crackers; we don't decorate our home much (and I being a boy doesn't help my parents in that either!).

This year, we are also not going anywhere to distribute gifts so its pretty much not the kind of diwali we used to have, and its not like we have lavish ones even when we do... but something is still strange about this time.

There is such a gentle breeze these days, and the sun-kissed hazy mornings. Such a pleasant weather goads me to go out, enjoy the sun, be with friends and friendships.

What these gentle breezes and festivities are doing is that they are providing a conducive environment to take a step back and put on a thinking cap on my knees :D

When you realize that you cant have something, but you need it badly, you start romancing with the idea of not having it and yet having it in order to improvise and tell the mind that you are better off not having it!

It is this romancing that adds a spark!
Romancing with this uncertainty, this pleasure in pain,
this yearning and dislike for the very same thing, is something conflicting in essence, complimenting otherwise and gratifying in the weirdest possible way.

 lets see how long it lasts..
And who knows, i might end up getting it... ;)

End (of) the Occupation - 2011 09 23 CSC

I really dont know what to say. it had been such a wonderful journey, 

and yet the end was so unusual, however, thankfully peaceful.

There were a lot of things i wanted to say,

a lot of things i wanted to do...

"हजारों ख्वाहिशें ऐसी कि हर ख्वाहिश पे दम निकले
बहुत निकले मेरे अरमाँ, लेकिन फिर भी कम निकले..."

This was the first among the several literary pieces that i came across
during my tenure in CSC. And to this date, it remains,
ever so naive, ever so resonating, ever so true.

I always believed, and told Medha, that i had a better time here than college, and Medha was a big reason who made it possible. With her, we used to feel right at home in WikonnecT.

A home away from home...

there was time, when i used to eagerly look up to joining office on Monday.

our friendly night outs,
our movies during day time,  

our lunches,
our dumb charades,

our 'high' teas ,

our HCFs,

our pizza huts,

our straws,

our walks,

our ebony and ivorys'

our "chutki's"

our group chats,

our con calls.

the bike rides,

the car journeys,

the long talks,

the screaming silences,

the winding roads,

the silly traffic,

the stupid thoughts,

the serious talks,

all the mistakes,

all the pardons,

all the forgivers,

all the sinners,

forgiven, yet not forgotten,

forgotten, yet not forgiven,

the good times seem so distant,

a weary eyed memory searching for mirrors,

a lot of things i have said,

a lot of things i can't,

Friends came and friends went,

all that remained are memories...

Its not people who are remembered.

Whats remembered are their actions, 

their words,

their deeds

I thank my friends for understanding me,

at times bearing me,

giving me such a special part in their lives.

I hope I have been able to make a difference for good...

"Pehle phursat thi ab hasratein samaakar  
Ek aaisi uljhan hain meri
Khud chalkar rukta hu jaha jis jagah par
Ek aaisi sarhad hain meri
Kehne se bhi main darta hoon
Apno ki dhun mein rahta hoon 
Kar kya sakta hoon

De sakta hoon main thoda pyar yahan par,
Jitni haiseeyat hai meri.
Reh jaaun sabke dil mein dil ko basakar
Ek aaisi niyat hai meri
Ho jaye to bhi raazi hoon.
Kho jaaun to main baaki hoon.
Yun samajhta hoon.

Mera na koi hai pata iss jagah
Yun to hai mera yeh jahan
Laya kya maine kab mera hai yahan par
Shaayad ho pehle se basta basa sab yahan..."